Wednesday, January 24, 2007

I Wish Someone Would Invent: the HMS Delicious

Have you ever thought about an invention that maybe YOU can't make, but it sure would be nice if someone else did?

I wish someone would invent a clipper ship restaurant for us landlocked folks in Minneapolis. Not a clipper ship THEMED restaurant with anachronistic trinkets on wall, but an honest to goodness clipper ship that was picked up from some under-appreciated coastal maritime museum and dropped in a big Peavy Plaza-style pond in the middle of downtown.

Eating at the HMS Delicious would be a fun experience -- not just because it's a ship, but because instead of pandering to the middle class by offering normal food at decent prices, it would recognize and celebrate America's growing economic rift between the ultra rich and ultra poor. So on the top deck, amidst the bright lights and cool breeze of the city, would be the most expensive restaurant in the city. Imagine the old Aquavit but on a ship. The menu would be whatever's fresh, caught that day and flown in, and there'd probably be only one or two choices daily. You'd have to wear something really expensive and smoking a pipe or cigar would be highly encouraged. No beer on the top deck, just wine for the ladies and scotch for the gents. Blue label if you're feeling frisky and Sheep Dip if you just want to relax.

But below, in the hold, you'd find the completely opposite experience. There you could find rows and rows of wooden tables and one small kitchen serving soup and bread. A bowl for a buck. It wouldn't literally be a soup kitchen, though. You wouldn't have to be in rough shape to be served. It's for the budget-conscious Minneapolitan who can't afford Panera every day and who doesn't want to fill up on Taco Bell either. The hold would be a frank, no-nonsense place where you can get your fill and then get back to work.

Man, if someone invented the HMS Delicious I would eat there every day.

So, you want to invent it? Already know about something just like it? Got a reason why it would never work? Got some suggestions? Got your own "I Wish Someone Would Invent..."? See you in the comments!


Betsy said...

I love that idea! If it opens, I'll take BTA to lunch--or dinner on the deck!

Shad said...

THE DECK!!! I'd have absolutely nothing to wear.


Dodd Billyans said...

Soup for a dollar? Sign me up! It should have a coal burning oven and some big sweaty dude with a shovel feeding it all day.

Kevin Cannon said...

Totally. and a roaming mutt named Patches.